X Discussion Points
8.) There is no justice on the playground, though there is often retribution.
Some bullied children commit suicide. Recent deaths have acted as catalysts for bullied children who grew up (i.e., did not commit suicide) to take a stand against bullying in the schoolyard and by proxy bullying everywhere else. It is a noble sentiment, in some ways foolish, nonetheless noble. I'm glad they're finally taking a stand against something so important. I wish them luck, but fear they're misdirecting their energies. The schoolyard is and always has been a direct reflection of parent and teacher prejudices mixed with young humans in the process of developing their own prejudices. That makes the schoolyard a swarming mass of confused and ignorant beings experiencing uncontrollable physical and chemical changes while attempting to conform with parent, teacher, and fellow student expectations.
Bullying is a unique byproduct of learned behavior, self-correction, peer review, hypersensitivity / overt cruelty, and ignorance of "rules" (sometimes arbitrary) manifested by individuals seething with (often unaddressed) inner anger. The causes of this inner anger differ; they can be the manifestation of turmoils in the home, schoolyard, classroom, extracurriculars, or the self. Bullying is an outlet for this unaddressed turmoil: a percieved weakness in a fellow, makes that fellow a sure target. The bullied child becomes the outlet for the bully who is often times reenacting incidents of bullying within their own lives.
If bullying is a learned behavior, then "teaching the bully out" ought to be sufficient to end bullying. After all, bullying was taught in. Education is important for changing minds and subsequently behaviors, but everyone must make their own choices including potential bullies who choose to ignore the teachings of anti-bullying campaigns. That said, education, itself, tends towards the tyrannical and as such typically enables (or encourages) bullies. Can a bully really teach the bully out? That's awfully hypocritical, don't you think? Education is a beginning, not a solution. So, how do we stop bullying?
Perhaps, the best idea is to add "maintaining an acceptable outlet" to the teaching efforts. With regular access to acceptable outlets for releasing pent up inner anger, it may be possible to reduce instances of bullying but, I doubt it. Right now, we have more acceptable outlets than any other period of known history. We still have bullies.
Bullying is as much a part of our history as of our future. It will not end. It cannot end. Bullying is a fact of life. Deal with it and teach your kids to deal with it. Protect them by arming their minds with creative ways to seek retribution...teach the bully in. Protect them by arming their bodies with basic self-defense techniques...judo chop. Protect them by arming their souls with sympathy and empathy for all beings...hippie love. Protect children from bullies by desensitizing them to the effects of bullies...Pav-laugh-it-off. I don't pretend to know the best avenue for defending against bullies, perhaps a mix is best. All I know for sure, bullying is a form of human selfishness. And, there ain't no way in hell, people are going to suddenly stop being selfish.
Pax et Poema,
Vale,
Monique
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