A Poem: Dear Russians, Americans, Gays

In honor of the 3X reigning champions of the Finley Experience International Views Contest and in response to the recent news regarding the Russian government illegalizing a segment of its population. Stand strong Russian Gay Community. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with your government. I say this knowing that there is something wrong with my own government which has various laws against me. The fuck they say. From one "second-class citizen" to another: human rights belong to human beings. Love who you will. This is for the fags, dykes, and trannies who face death legislation and possible murder by homophobes. This is for you, my dear queers. No matter where you are, or, what your nationalities. Self-truth and self-preservation! You will survive! We will survive! Vale!

Dear Russians, Americans, Gays

I.                   Debate

It is not time to debate the merits of homosexuality.

It’s time to debate the merits of illegalizing people.

I once talked to a Muslim girl who told me no Muslim is gay.

Years later, I met a gay Muslim. Who was I to tell him he wasn’t?

It is not time to debate the merits of heterosexuality.

It’s time to debate the merits of illegalizing people.

I once talked to a Christian boy who told me no Christian is gay.

Years later, I met a bunch of gay Christians. Who was I to tell them they weren’t?

It is not time to debate the merits of transexuality.

It’s time to debate the merits of illegalizing people.

I once watched a country falter on its principles, telling citizens no one is gay.

Years later, I attended rainbow parades. Who was I to be one of them?

It is not time to debate the merits of pansexuality.

It’s time to debate the merits of illegalizing people.

I’m watching countries falter on their principles, telling citizens they’re not gay.

Years from now, we’ll dance at rainbow parties. Who are they, but the fetish-closeted?

II.                Reason

The true global calamity in this age of technological superiority is nothing more or less than the internet’s very own international intelligence agencies increasing the Iron Curtain tactics used on their own netizenry. As home of the original Iron Curtain, Russians know of government misinformation and subjecting the masses to rationing while Kremlin Kings kick back making Dynasty look like a weak Western attempt at luxury. One group staring at HD screens, asses growing larger by the second; the other group dictating what should be stared at and how many re-runs should air until the propaganda hits home and the subject can be changed, just slightly to keep the suspense building. Buck ass naked survivor, anyone?

But it’s not solely a national issue, it’s humanity's big problem. The iron in that age old curtain is how the oldest triangular structures became emblematic of something that has always been and always will be, the dictator’s goal: absolute control. Be fickle. You’re human. That’s the one piece of chaos in this fractal equation. Every redoubling effort has the quantum effect when human unpredictability is factored. And, usually, we forget to factor for the ingenuity of the human element, regardless of history that testament to prior experience. Let us, break it down:

III.             And Gradation

First, they attend our secret bars.

They love the shows, the drag kings

and queens and the songs they sing.

Then, they tell us it’s a lifestyle.

They love-fuck us, the hated queers

and dykes and all our peers.

So, we rise up, the beaten down.

The fags and their hags wielding high heels
while butches march with bears and their steel.  

Afterwards: “We Will Survive”

echoes through streets on mp4 players

and all dance to expose corruption's layers.

(*Side note: There’s nothing I find more

hypocritical than a homophobic homosexual

that becomes a politician to vote heterosexual.)

~Monique Finley
6-11-2013

Finley Experience 3rd Annual "International Views" Contest

Hey Y'all!

The results are in! It maybe no surprise to Russia, but they hit the top for a third year in a row. Congrats! Y'all really pulled ahead by a landslide this year.

Russia              2544
China               1087
Germany          672
France             412
U.K.                378
Ukraine            298
Poland             127
Israel               121
Brazil               104

Okay, Russia, it seems I'm averaging one poem a year for y'all. I did promise multiple poems per year, therefore, I'm behind. I hope you all will forgive me. They are in works, but nowhere near complete. Fortunately, as you can see from the count, Russia won the 3rd Annual Finley Experience "International Views" Contest. So, the poem debt to Russia grows!

This year's surprise entrant, China, leapt to second place over last year's second place winner, Germany. Last year's third place entrant, Ukraine, fell to sixth this year with France and U.K. making a comeback in the last round of the race.

Ukraine, what happened? You were doing so well. No worries! There's always the 4th Annual Finley Experience "International Views" Contest. Speaking of which, the contest began on June 1st 2013 and ends May 31st 2014. You've got time to get those views in.

I'll keep you all updated as the year progresses. And, be on the look out for the next poem about Russia. Never know when it'll show up, but it will be found at finleyexperience.com.

Inspiration, Dreams, and Bridging the "Divide"

I want to tell you the story of humor as a weapon of self-improvement.

Its the story of centurian polar-opposites learning balance, of self-reflection and projection, of dejection and reelection, of mass deception and genius conception. And, thankfully, the amazing guys of ERB have provided the visuals. In fact, aside from a little commentary here, each video tells a greater story than I could. Listen to them carefully, these are the voices of Epic Rap Battles of History, and whilst they may come off peculiar to the non-rap inclined, these guys take the time to research their insults, jabs, and 1-2 punches. It may be imaginary, but it doesn't have to be unreal.

On a dark and stormy night, oh hell, I don't know if it was stormy. I'm sure a historical climatologist could tell you. Regardless, it was night, and Lincoln was dead. Shot in the head while at Ford's Theatre. The gunman, John Wilkes Booth, ended President Lincoln's life, consequently he lost his own. This is the story every American child is taught in social studies. Myth building is grand and our imaginations have never been better. With a little historical reinventing, ERB gives you:



As you can see, its awesome and strangely informative, like the original "Got Milk?" commericial* which inadvertently taught an entire generation of Americans that Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton "in that famous duel." If it had only taught them who Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr actually were, perhaps what it was that they were fighting over, and why exactly we stopped having duels in congress, then we would have gotten some where. It does seem to have a civil air of finality to it: dueling. (*See below).

That is of course what rap battles are, verbal duels:



Isn't amazing, this ability to time travel yet go nowhere?



There's so much to be said for each dueller, for the lines, the actors, the back grounds, the forethought that went into each piece. But, perhaps most importantly, there's truths found in each rhyme, hard truths about society, where we're from, and where we're headed:



We're stratified into various categories by languages, cultures, and histories passed down to us from people who were categorized by their own times. Isn't it inspiring to see language, culture, and history shaken up?

It is the fans who leave pairings they'd love to see in comment sections that combine with the visions, talents, and efforts of the ERB crew to bring us verbal sparring betwixt characters be them imaginary, real, or both. It is the quarks of humor, the jabs of truth, the very essence of how best to deal with adversity.

Laugh the bastards off.

EAGLE!!!


(*Original "Got Milk?" Commercial)




Now, EAGLE! Damn it.